Dear Mr. Warden

No, I do not want him to read this. I'm just about to rant off about it like I'm talking to him kind if so I want you to be able to keep up. Lol. And this goes to anyone else who says it too.

There are many things I can rant to you about. But for the sake of my thumbs I'm going to focus on your statment "YOU DRESS LIKE THE DEAD!!"

Now I'm sure it goes without saying that this is a very childish commen that I would expect from my little brother, a 12-year old, which would be, not an acceptable remark, but acceptable for his age. You, however are a grown man of some 40+ year of age, and a parent at that who should carry the responsiblity of an adult. So for lack of a resposible way for me throwing your sad attempt to have my mother retaliate toward my "lack of love for god" that you so earnesly lied to her about, you choose to insult my wardrobe which is 100% more conservative than your daughters. Well to stear you away from looking like such a fool again I'll have you read into why your comment is so absurb. Unfortunately, there are not enough occasions for me to dress like the dead seeing as how I mostly find the casual jeans and a band tee more acceptable. You see, when you are dead you are dressed in one of three ways. One: you are in whatever outfit you died in which in a way your comment could be correct but it is simply impossible to say everyone dies in jeans and a band tee. Two: you are nekkid, which unless you pedo watch me undress and in the shower I do no where else, and infact is a more accurate term for your daughter who so proudly strips for so many young (and old) men. And three: you are dressed formally in your casket for a viewing in which I'm sure my mother would have me in a good Sunday best dress and I'm afraid I jus dontdress up formally that often.

Well Mr. Warden I find your acts that of a child or a teenage girl. Next time please hold yourself more respectably.

Oh let death come sweetly

I want to die

No I'm not one of those emos

I'm tired of beig taunted in life by thing I want and told I can't have them.

I want to be happy, but poeple only taunt me with happiness then take it away.

Stop taunting me, let me die peacefully.

Planning a date,
Bekki

Who do I talk to?

This whole getting dumped thing is really starting to get on my nervs. It's like, I used to always talk to him when I was upset and he'd make me feel soooo much better, but now I can't, and even if I try he just ignores me. It's like "hey, I wanna be friends but I don't want to act like one." And it really really sucks because he used to be my ultamate best friend and now he always ignore me. It's just like a low blow to take a friend and a boyfriend away from me at once.

Ugh, so school sucks. I'm acctually trying to whip this out before I have to leave so I don't keep thinking about it so intensly at school all day. I didn't do my stupid history homework so I'll get in trouble for that right early in the morning, yay. Erm, yah, i'll try to remember to post an entry about all the trouble my schools giving me and about how I'm leaving for sure next. Year and my mums mad I can't leave this year because they roally fucked up my schedual :/

My kitty loves me, she's acctually streatched out next to me right now purring. I love my baby.

Er, I'm cosplaying as pikachu for Halloween and for mechacon, but that's not for awhile. I'm going to LouisiANIME too so of your going you should tell me and we can totally be like "sup?" Yah, I'm cosplaying as a female Reno, Tifa, and my fursona. Me and Tora (Olivia) are going together. She's being madarro (?), Yuffie, and some chick from Ohrine HighSchool Host Club(?).

I'll be blogging about that more and more as things get near :)

Ugh, I do NOT want to go to school ): But I have too, sucks....

Love,
Bekki

Dumped ):

Yah, I got dumped on august 28th late at night. I cried...I cried alot actually. I didn't write anything because I was still holding we would get back together because we still act like we did before about alot of stuff but it's painfully obvious that whatever feelings he may or may not have actually had for me are regretably gone.

One thing I found ironically humerous was he complained that I didn't write on this anymore, but what I guess he didn't understand was I wrote on this to cope with my depression, but when I was with him I didn't have much to cope about. I was just happy and normal. But now I'm all stingy and hurt and need an outlet so I don't do anythig dirastic.

I'm cutting myself again much to my delema. I'm afraid its the only thing to numb the serring pain. Getting dumped sucks. My godawful nightmares are back, it takes all my will power to get to sleep at night. I have to hug myself ever so tightly so I don't collapse of a broken heart.

Silly, I know, I seem to always over react to these love things, but I really wanted to be with him forever.

God I'm a sap.

Xoxo,
Bekki

Long Time No See

Yes, yes I can see you .-.

Theres nothing really to update on this honestly. I'm in 10th grade now.... I unno... I made alot more friends, well, I started hanging out with alot more friends would be a better way to put it.

Erm, I look ALOT different:



My hairs not really black yet though :/

Erm, I unno, I has a boyfriend now :3 its been like, I dunno, he remembers.

Hes soooo perfect :3

Erm, ches, so, Ima just go now, eh?

Xoxo,
Bekki♥

P.S. I has my artz on DeviantART nowz.
http://bekkieh.deviantart.com/

Facebook DD:

So yea... I made a facebook a long while ago... Never got on it. Confuzzled me too bad :/ Now I get on it... So feel free to add me, preferably after telling me who you are ^-^

Ummm, I dunno how to link it so I'll link it later after I get someone to teach it to me DD:

On another note, I've been texting a certain person whom I think is positively amazing. Good thing I have Alex keeping my heart locked up xDDD

Kitty is doing good, shes been all over lately, we haven't hung out.

McLacey, whom I don't think I have talked about very much, has become my best female friend xD So yah. I'll post a picture of her up here sometime when we hang out again. She reads this a little so hiii Lacey ^-^

And I'm working on uploading a picture of Alex. He hates putting pictures of himself out there cause they always managed to get stolen. (Not bragging about his sexiness or shit, they really do just always get stolen so he avoids cameras all together *sigh* I'm still trying to get him to take a picture with me DD:). I promise I'll cry to them both. Maybe even Zack ;D

Happy Easter ((2010))

How bad is it to wish, and literly wish, death upon your mother and brother. I hate him, and even more then that I hate her for not being able to control him.

I know thats a horrible entry, but its how I feel right now, if the dead can even really feel.

I've been shunned off our little family Easter Egg Hunt and told to go cry up in my room because I refused to let my mother take a picture of me and I went inside after my brother continuously called me a retard.

Thats been his word lately, as if hes not creative enough to come up with something new (hes not). He called me a retard all last night until I hit him on the head, then my mum screamed at me for touching God's perfect fucking creation.

Yah... Up until that my Easter was going pretty good. I cooked dinner, well more like a late lunch.

Oh, and a quick update on yesterday and the day before that a so on.

For Good Friday I went to this guy whom called himself my boyfriend's house, Danny, my last post was inaccurate, I was in a good mood, and it quickly fell through. I told him he wasn't my type that night, because, well, frankly he wasn't...

Ugh, as I type my brother is going through what he got, its a wonder how much of a kiss ass one kid can be, and what a fucking push over one old bag can be. Makes me want to re slit my throat.

God help us all,
~Bekki♥