I could never have a wedding ceremony. I can't even handle a full high school homecoming when I feel like everyone is watching me. Talking about me. Judging me. My fat ass in my stupid dress, pretending like I almost look semi okay. Ugh, I could never handle a wedding, where I know everyone is staring at me. I'd die. But its my dream to get married. I want to be a wife. I want to be a mother. On my fourteenth birthday I said, and I still believe, "I was born in the wrong era. I want to be where fourteen means marriage, not high school."
I hate high school. I hate people. They're so cruel, so judgmental. What kinda of decent person has to intentionally be mean, be heartless, to judge someone just so they can feel that much better about themselves. I hate people. I hate all of them, and your kidding yourself if you think your any different. School is a nightmare. Its awful. It kills. School kills decent people all the time.
Love now and always,
~Bekki♥
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
A moment in time featuring Alex and Zack 01
Bekki: "I am Bekki the lion fierce ruler of the universe!" *weilds her stick around at Alex*
Zack: "More so Bekki the lamb." *chuckles*
Alex: *stands over Bekki takeing her stick* "I heard Bekki the lame."
Bekki: "Your just jealous" *pouts*
Zack: Of what?
Alex: *mocking bekki in key with her* "My mad skills!!!"
Bekki: "..... you suck"
lol, this happened in the woods yesterday when I was walking with Alex and Zack to Fritichi. It was freaking cold :O lol I thought it was funny.
Alex: Hes Zack's "like a brother" friend whom is 7'3, 170 lb and 17 years old. I luffers him sooo much!
Zack: My older brother's friend who watches after me since he moved away. Hes 6'11-7 something in there 210 lb, and 21-22 years old. I love him sooo much!
Zack: "More so Bekki the lamb." *chuckles*
Alex: *stands over Bekki takeing her stick* "I heard Bekki the lame."
Bekki: "Your just jealous" *pouts*
Zack: Of what?
Alex: *mocking bekki in key with her* "My mad skills!!!"
Bekki: "..... you suck"
lol, this happened in the woods yesterday when I was walking with Alex and Zack to Fritichi. It was freaking cold :O lol I thought it was funny.
Alex: Hes Zack's "like a brother" friend whom is 7'3, 170 lb and 17 years old. I luffers him sooo much!
Zack: My older brother's friend who watches after me since he moved away. Hes 6'11-7 something in there 210 lb, and 21-22 years old. I love him sooo much!
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Long time no posting
Mmm how many times do I have to say Im sorry, you already know I am. I'm afriad this might not be a long post though seeing as I'm on my iPod touch. Oh yes, I blew $200+ on this stupid thing. And i loveee it :))) lol so yah. I'm now very very good about checking my email. So email me at littleblackpanda@yahoo.com
Please? I love hearing from you guys :))) Please? It makes me smile so very much... :D
Please? I love hearing from you guys :))) Please? It makes me smile so very much... :D
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Biology Notes
God I'm devious.
Why do I say this? Biology class was killer :D
So this girl Christine who sits next to me (Shes kinda two faced, but hell shes got a million friends cause shes rollin' in it. But shes pretty okay I guess.) was in the office, so Randy, who is blinder then a bat but too cool to wear his glasses, comes up and sits next to me cause he can't see to take notes. I move as far away from him as possible, which wasn't really all that far. Anyways, I continued writing my notes like a good student, of course I'm a decently fast writer, so whenever I had a break I wrote all down the sides of the pages (all four pages front and back, thank you Mrs. Airheart) with swirly girly letters and hearts "Aaron Smith." You shoulda saw his face!
By the way, this is Aaron :D
Not the best picture of him, but its the only one I really have on my computer at the moment :)
Isn't he adorable though?
Oh, I watched the Lovely Bones last night. Yea, I bought my first pirated film. $5. Yea, I coulda just watched it online for free, but I wanted to watch it in my room by my self. Not in a big theater with thousands of people of whom I do not know. Makes me feel too lonely.
Anyways back on Biology, my right arm would brush his while I was writing, it killed me how warm he was and how much I would have just rathered cuddle into his arms, for his body heat and slow, steady pulse. Anyways, I'm makeing progress. Saturday is homecomeing... I'm not eating, trying to lose weight so I don't look so big in my dress, I'm also whitening my stained yellow teeth :/ Its from not breathing I think.
Anyways, aren't you proud of me for acting like more of a girl? Lol
Love now and always,
~Bekki♥
There are raindrops on roses, and girls in white dresses
Its sleeping with roaches and taking back
Shed off her sheets and before all the stage
And a few more of your least favorite things
Why do I say this? Biology class was killer :D
So this girl Christine who sits next to me (Shes kinda two faced, but hell shes got a million friends cause shes rollin' in it. But shes pretty okay I guess.) was in the office, so Randy, who is blinder then a bat but too cool to wear his glasses, comes up and sits next to me cause he can't see to take notes. I move as far away from him as possible, which wasn't really all that far. Anyways, I continued writing my notes like a good student, of course I'm a decently fast writer, so whenever I had a break I wrote all down the sides of the pages (all four pages front and back, thank you Mrs. Airheart) with swirly girly letters and hearts "Aaron Smith." You shoulda saw his face!
By the way, this is Aaron :D
Not the best picture of him, but its the only one I really have on my computer at the moment :)
Isn't he adorable though?
Oh, I watched the Lovely Bones last night. Yea, I bought my first pirated film. $5. Yea, I coulda just watched it online for free, but I wanted to watch it in my room by my self. Not in a big theater with thousands of people of whom I do not know. Makes me feel too lonely.
Anyways back on Biology, my right arm would brush his while I was writing, it killed me how warm he was and how much I would have just rathered cuddle into his arms, for his body heat and slow, steady pulse. Anyways, I'm makeing progress. Saturday is homecomeing... I'm not eating, trying to lose weight so I don't look so big in my dress, I'm also whitening my stained yellow teeth :/ Its from not breathing I think.
Anyways, aren't you proud of me for acting like more of a girl? Lol
Love now and always,
~Bekki♥
There are raindrops on roses, and girls in white dresses
Its sleeping with roaches and taking back
Shed off her sheets and before all the stage
And a few more of your least favorite things
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Contest?
I'm going to have a contest. Interested? My email is littleblackpanda@yahoo.com, as if you haven't heard that enough. But enough of me rableing, more about the contest!
Its a banner contest, I know your all so very very talented. I want you to make a banner for this blog (or my other blog if you'd rather). Now there are some rules in which I will list below.
1. No stealing other peoples pictures, I would prefer you put a picture of me somewhere in there, in which if you email me I will gladly send you some, or a link where you can get some. My myspace is always open, Bekkiehhh.
2. No folger images or text.
3. It must say somewhere on there talesofadeadgirl.blogspot.com or intheeyesofthebeholder.com if your doing it for my other blog.
4. Banner sized. Longer then width, you know what I mean.
5. You have to sign it somewhere, or something like that.
6. Have fun o-o Or else >.>
When you are done just email it to me, or leave it as a comment below.
Now this contest has no dead line, so I'll still take entrys a year from now. That doesn't mean I won't pick a winner. I will just put up the one I like best as they come in (which will be rather slow seeing as I have so fans). But yes. As a reward you will get a pat on the head. :)))
No, actually, I will praise you for your amazing work and put it up for the banner on the blog. ^^
Love now and always,
~Bekki♥
Its a banner contest, I know your all so very very talented. I want you to make a banner for this blog (or my other blog if you'd rather). Now there are some rules in which I will list below.
1. No stealing other peoples pictures, I would prefer you put a picture of me somewhere in there, in which if you email me I will gladly send you some, or a link where you can get some. My myspace is always open, Bekkiehhh.
2. No folger images or text.
3. It must say somewhere on there talesofadeadgirl.blogspot.com or intheeyesofthebeholder.com if your doing it for my other blog.
4. Banner sized. Longer then width, you know what I mean.
5. You have to sign it somewhere, or something like that.
6. Have fun o-o Or else >.>
When you are done just email it to me, or leave it as a comment below.
Now this contest has no dead line, so I'll still take entrys a year from now. That doesn't mean I won't pick a winner. I will just put up the one I like best as they come in (which will be rather slow seeing as I have so fans). But yes. As a reward you will get a pat on the head. :)))
No, actually, I will praise you for your amazing work and put it up for the banner on the blog. ^^
Love now and always,
~Bekki♥
Sunday, January 10, 2010
A new year
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry,I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry,I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry,I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry,I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry,I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry,I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry,I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry,I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry,I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry,I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I think we should be getting to the point in our little relationship that I shouldn't have to say sorry. You should already know I am. Anyways, as an apology I'm going to show you my drawings. Because as you know I got a tablet for Christmas. And I got my friend to hack openCanvas so now I have a never ending free trial. xD
That's me :D
That's Lacey :D
That's me and Kitty's depiction of the Hatter and the White Rabbit. We're writing a sequel to Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass. Down the Rabbits Hole :D
That's our depiction of the Cheshire Cat (not finished though cause openCanvas is being a butt).
Another Cheshire Cat :D (I colored him but openCanvas is being a butt :/).
Love now and always,
~Bekki♥
I think we should be getting to the point in our little relationship that I shouldn't have to say sorry. You should already know I am. Anyways, as an apology I'm going to show you my drawings. Because as you know I got a tablet for Christmas. And I got my friend to hack openCanvas so now I have a never ending free trial. xD
That's me :D
That's Lacey :D
That's me and Kitty's depiction of the Hatter and the White Rabbit. We're writing a sequel to Alice's Adventures in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass. Down the Rabbits Hole :D
That's our depiction of the Cheshire Cat (not finished though cause openCanvas is being a butt).
Another Cheshire Cat :D (I colored him but openCanvas is being a butt :/).
Love now and always,
~Bekki♥
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Sur vived
I have survived today without being raped or torn in two...
Yea, I have a way with entering sentences xD
So today I hung out with my two friends Dylan and Brandon whom I have both known since third grade. I have no hung out with either for nearly a year though :( Sad, I know.
Brandon played violin with me in third grade. He was and still is a GIANT to every extent of the word. He called me small fry and teased me. It was a love hate relationship :) He has kinda sorta had a crush on me since then. Or it seems to be.
Dylan, I wasn't really friends with in third grade. I just knew him. I became sorta kinda friends with him in sixth grade when my first boyfriend evar (Tyler ♥ I still adore him) was one of his best friends as well as Brandon's. I had a little crush on him. Yea. I was a dork. In seventh grade when I switched to private schools and grew up a little he started likeing me to. We've been dateing on and off since then :/
So yah, I know what your thinking. My, oh my, Bekki, how on earth did you survive hanging out with these two together at once. Did you bring some friends? Did you cause a distracting? Did you act dead to make them repulsed? No! I did not of those I'm proud to say. Dylan and Brandon are friends, and dispite anything Dylan is or isn't he is always kind to his friends. He talked to me about Brandon likeing me and if I liked him. I told him no. Not for any particular reason other then I just don't like Brandon like that. And me and Brandon have very different views on relationships :) Nothing personal. Dylan did good. He didn't go overboard on PDA not that I thought he would. Yah we flirted, kinda. But more friendly then anything. Dylan and I, I think, will always have a little chemistry. And I know he'll always be around if I need a good friend. If anything from today, I've owned up to a whole new respect for Dylan. Yah, he can be a dick. Yes, he is a semi whore. But he really is a good friend.
So yea, we hung out at the park for awhile. Then when some little kids came, since Dylan and Brandon like to cuss and have in appropreate conversations, not that I mind, I asked if we could walk or something. We did. We walking around and talked for awhile. Ran into two or three of their friends. I politely waved looking as alive as possible. Then we desided to go to Monkey Hill. Yah, yah, I know. "Oh, Bekki. What is this Monkey Hill you speak of? Can we makeout there?" I'm adding in the last part to help my self confidence. No need for a hissy, Jesus. Monkey Hill is an area in this small woods by my house with a series of hills :). Then we walked over to a parkish area, from there we walked to this lake thing that was the cutest thing ever. I'll walk back there sometime and take pictures :)
So yah, I know what your thinking. Why on earth would two guys like you, Bekki. Your not even pretty. Well F you!
Love now and always,
~Bekki♥
Your eyes are blue like the ocean, and baby I'm lost out at sea.
Yea, I have a way with entering sentences xD
So today I hung out with my two friends Dylan and Brandon whom I have both known since third grade. I have no hung out with either for nearly a year though :( Sad, I know.
Brandon played violin with me in third grade. He was and still is a GIANT to every extent of the word. He called me small fry and teased me. It was a love hate relationship :) He has kinda sorta had a crush on me since then. Or it seems to be.
Dylan, I wasn't really friends with in third grade. I just knew him. I became sorta kinda friends with him in sixth grade when my first boyfriend evar (Tyler ♥ I still adore him) was one of his best friends as well as Brandon's. I had a little crush on him. Yea. I was a dork. In seventh grade when I switched to private schools and grew up a little he started likeing me to. We've been dateing on and off since then :/
So yah, I know what your thinking. My, oh my, Bekki, how on earth did you survive hanging out with these two together at once. Did you bring some friends? Did you cause a distracting? Did you act dead to make them repulsed? No! I did not of those I'm proud to say. Dylan and Brandon are friends, and dispite anything Dylan is or isn't he is always kind to his friends. He talked to me about Brandon likeing me and if I liked him. I told him no. Not for any particular reason other then I just don't like Brandon like that. And me and Brandon have very different views on relationships :) Nothing personal. Dylan did good. He didn't go overboard on PDA not that I thought he would. Yah we flirted, kinda. But more friendly then anything. Dylan and I, I think, will always have a little chemistry. And I know he'll always be around if I need a good friend. If anything from today, I've owned up to a whole new respect for Dylan. Yah, he can be a dick. Yes, he is a semi whore. But he really is a good friend.
So yea, we hung out at the park for awhile. Then when some little kids came, since Dylan and Brandon like to cuss and have in appropreate conversations, not that I mind, I asked if we could walk or something. We did. We walking around and talked for awhile. Ran into two or three of their friends. I politely waved looking as alive as possible. Then we desided to go to Monkey Hill. Yah, yah, I know. "Oh, Bekki. What is this Monkey Hill you speak of? Can we makeout there?" I'm adding in the last part to help my self confidence. No need for a hissy, Jesus. Monkey Hill is an area in this small woods by my house with a series of hills :). Then we walked over to a parkish area, from there we walked to this lake thing that was the cutest thing ever. I'll walk back there sometime and take pictures :)
So yah, I know what your thinking. Why on earth would two guys like you, Bekki. Your not even pretty. Well F you!
Love now and always,
~Bekki♥
Your eyes are blue like the ocean, and baby I'm lost out at sea.
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