Habits

I have an aweful habit. When something is about to happen I put every ounce of hope into it. And I always get let down and cry for days.

Example:

Eighth grade graduation. My juinor high put alot into it. We had a ceremony, a dinner, and an after part. The dinner was a formal dinner at a really fancy place. And after the dinner we were gonna go midnight bowling. I got this pixi style long strapless dress and extentions for the dinner. My dress frayed and I didn't notice how raggedy it really looked until after I was at the dinner. And my extentions looked aweful.

This guy, we'll call him Erin, made fun of me constantly. Hes Randy's best friend. He didn't stand up for me once. I let my heart fall... When I came home before going bowling I changed into this cute outfit. A corset I got from hott topic and these dark skinny torn and faded jeans. I put my black jacket on and left. I got to the bowling alley late. But with high hopes. Everyone had a lane already. There was no room for me. I stood there for about 45 minuets waiting for someone to say something to me after fetal attempts to say hi to my dear friend Kitty... But even she turned me away.

I couldn't believe no one would talk to me. Not even my so called "friends" would look at me. I went to the bathroom and cried my black eyes out. I cried in there for 1 hour and 15 minuets until my mom was there to pick me up and found me in there. People from my class even came into the bathroom. Heard me crying. Ignored me. I came out with a black tear striken face. Heart broken and lost. My mom led me to the car. About a month after that she bought me anti depresants...they never worked for anything but suicide.

Love for now and always,
~Bekki♥